So a colleague and I were chatting up the other day and we happened to discuss 'the girl with the whacky matrimonial website'. I had stumbled upon this site a while ago, looked through it, thought this girl was humorous, and forgot about it. Much to my surprise, this website was viral in no time. Every content syndication site I followed, had shared this website with accompanying taglines and text which in a nutshell implied 'more power to you, girl'.
This girl, like any regular Indian girl was subject to the 'matrimony' phase of life. Where your parents talk you into matrimony. Literally. Here in India, we don't have the customary 'birds & bees' talk, nah! Here, "the talk" refers primarily to marriage.
Many of us (if not all) have gone through this phase. She decided to give it a humorous twist - which I loved. Got to keep things light, cos these things tend to get a bit dreary. But, the reason why I said 'to my surprise' with respect to the website going viral, is this - it's normal.
You go through these feelings of rebelliousness, denial (that you're actually of marriageable age) and impulsiveness. But then eventually you do come to terms with it. And by coming to terms with it, I do not mean you succumb to the pressure and blindly do what is told to you - No. What I mean is - you grow up. You embrace your womanhood and seek a companion. It's normal. Whenever it happens - in your 20s, 30s or 40s.
There are 3 things we women must broadly consider:
You won't always be the same person.
So today you may feel like you'll never grow your hair, you'll always want to climb trees and be a tomboy. But tomorrow will be different. And you don't know what you may like or dislike, then. Surely, none of us can tell the future, if we could, hell none of us would have any problems at all now, would we? The 28-year-old you will most definitely be different from the 23-year-old you. Maybe a much better version of you... who knows.
If you demand, you've got to invest, too.
There are no free lunches in life, my parents always told me. And I'd be like "what do you know? I'm smart and tactful. I can get free lunches whenever I want." No surprises here. I was wrong. You have to pay for your lunches, always. The main takeaway being - only if you give, will you get. And this applies to anything in life. So if you want someone to care about your desires, you must care about theirs.
It's easy to demand a partner who likes to travel and play the guitar - but that's just what you like. What about the desires of the other person? What if he wants his partner to have long locks that he can sing songs about? Are you willing to give up your tomboy image so he can serenade you?
Marriage is not necessarily a bad thing.
This I feel is a big, BIG taboo, given the modern world we live in. There are several horror stories we come across, yes. But there are also so many wonderful fairytale marriages out there that we don't talk about. There are so many women who lead better, happier lives after marriage than they ever did before. It's a yin-yang world out there, we can't always consider the negative part right? So those of you who are on the brink of making this big decision, give it your best shot. And to those who aren't, don't write it off. Marriage is like any other big decision you make that brings about big change in your life. Like when you move to a new city or a new apartment, it takes time to settle down, adjust to the new climate and surroundings. But we learn to adapt, don't we?
Contrary to popular opinion, it's not something that ties you down. It in fact can be greatly liberating - running your own life, on your own terms, with a partner to share your highs and lows with.
This post I suppose will make more sense if I told you, I was one of those rebellious characters who ran far and fast from this thing called marriage. I had a good job, great friends and a hugely supportive family. And I thought this was it! What more can one need from life? Until I got married.
No don't worry, none of this came to an end :)
In fact, I have a better job, amazing friends, a loving family and a partner who makes my world go round, and wonder why I didn't get married sooner?!
This girl, like any regular Indian girl was subject to the 'matrimony' phase of life. Where your parents talk you into matrimony. Literally. Here in India, we don't have the customary 'birds & bees' talk, nah! Here, "the talk" refers primarily to marriage.
Many of us (if not all) have gone through this phase. She decided to give it a humorous twist - which I loved. Got to keep things light, cos these things tend to get a bit dreary. But, the reason why I said 'to my surprise' with respect to the website going viral, is this - it's normal.
You go through these feelings of rebelliousness, denial (that you're actually of marriageable age) and impulsiveness. But then eventually you do come to terms with it. And by coming to terms with it, I do not mean you succumb to the pressure and blindly do what is told to you - No. What I mean is - you grow up. You embrace your womanhood and seek a companion. It's normal. Whenever it happens - in your 20s, 30s or 40s.
There are 3 things we women must broadly consider:
You won't always be the same person.
So today you may feel like you'll never grow your hair, you'll always want to climb trees and be a tomboy. But tomorrow will be different. And you don't know what you may like or dislike, then. Surely, none of us can tell the future, if we could, hell none of us would have any problems at all now, would we? The 28-year-old you will most definitely be different from the 23-year-old you. Maybe a much better version of you... who knows.
If you demand, you've got to invest, too.
There are no free lunches in life, my parents always told me. And I'd be like "what do you know? I'm smart and tactful. I can get free lunches whenever I want." No surprises here. I was wrong. You have to pay for your lunches, always. The main takeaway being - only if you give, will you get. And this applies to anything in life. So if you want someone to care about your desires, you must care about theirs.
It's easy to demand a partner who likes to travel and play the guitar - but that's just what you like. What about the desires of the other person? What if he wants his partner to have long locks that he can sing songs about? Are you willing to give up your tomboy image so he can serenade you?
Marriage is not necessarily a bad thing.
This I feel is a big, BIG taboo, given the modern world we live in. There are several horror stories we come across, yes. But there are also so many wonderful fairytale marriages out there that we don't talk about. There are so many women who lead better, happier lives after marriage than they ever did before. It's a yin-yang world out there, we can't always consider the negative part right? So those of you who are on the brink of making this big decision, give it your best shot. And to those who aren't, don't write it off. Marriage is like any other big decision you make that brings about big change in your life. Like when you move to a new city or a new apartment, it takes time to settle down, adjust to the new climate and surroundings. But we learn to adapt, don't we?
Contrary to popular opinion, it's not something that ties you down. It in fact can be greatly liberating - running your own life, on your own terms, with a partner to share your highs and lows with.
This post I suppose will make more sense if I told you, I was one of those rebellious characters who ran far and fast from this thing called marriage. I had a good job, great friends and a hugely supportive family. And I thought this was it! What more can one need from life? Until I got married.
No don't worry, none of this came to an end :)
In fact, I have a better job, amazing friends, a loving family and a partner who makes my world go round, and wonder why I didn't get married sooner?!
No comments:
Post a Comment